News - Jan 16, 2019 (1 day ago)

Thank you for coming.

It's been a long time coming now, but it's time for Twenty Percent Cooler to close down. We've had a good run and had a great time in our heyday, but the sun has set on our little website and now it's time to go. You have about a week to record, save, and archive what you would like before everything goes dark, so please make the best of this time.

Thank you for all the memories and contributions to our community in these last 8 years. We had a great time.

~ Sincerely, Princess Luna
Lead Administrator for TwentyPercentCooler.net

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Werewolf
Contributor
5 years ago
apple applejack bat_wings blonde_hair earth_pony equine fang female filly foal generation_4 green_eyes high_res messy_hair norang94 orange_body pony sitting solo transparent_background vampire wings young rating:Safe score:1 user:Werewolf

Sungazer said:
[ Remember to make wishes of your own, guys ]
Granted.

You know everything.

The data overloads your synapses and renders you a drooling mess.

You can never use your knowledge, because it's taken every piece of your mind to hold it all.

I wish I had moneys to afford things with.

Granted. You have $2, enough to purchase two things.

I wish I had wings and could fly like a pegasus.


Werewolf said:
Granted. You have $2, enough to purchase two things.

I wish I had wings and could fly like a pegasus.

Granted.

But the ponies who remember you without wings suspect witchcraft.

You'll spend your life on the run.

I wish I had a pet fennec.

Werewolf
Contributor
5 years ago
apple applejack bat_wings blonde_hair earth_pony equine fang female filly foal generation_4 green_eyes high_res messy_hair norang94 orange_body pony sitting solo transparent_background vampire wings young rating:Safe score:1 user:Werewolf

Sungazer said:
Granted.

But the ponies who remember you without wings suspect witchcraft.

You'll spend your life on the run.

I wish I had a pet fennec.

Granted, you have a pet fennec. It is cute and adorable and chews on everything you own and pees all over your stuff and has fleas.

I wish I could teleport at will and never end up inside a wall or anything like that.


Werewolf said:
Granted, you have a pet fennec. It is cute and adorable and chews on everything you own and pees all over your stuff and has fleas.

I wish I could teleport at will and never end up inside a wall or anything like that.

Granted.

And your ability to teleport gives you the opportunity to see things nobody else would see due to the inability to prepare for your arrival.

You pop in on your mare having a moment of weakness with another stallion.

You never have a healthy relationship again.

(That one was REALLY hard to twist.)

I wish I was an Alicorn! :'D

Werewolf
Contributor
5 years ago
apple applejack bat_wings blonde_hair earth_pony equine fang female filly foal generation_4 green_eyes high_res messy_hair norang94 orange_body pony sitting solo transparent_background vampire wings young rating:Safe score:1 user:Werewolf

Sungazer said:
Granted.

And your ability to teleport gives you the opportunity to see things nobody else would see due to the inability to prepare for your arrival.

You pop in on your mare having a moment of weakness with another stallion.

You never have a healthy relationship again.

(That one was REALLY hard to twist.)

I wish I was an Alicorn! :'D

Granted! You are now Dark Fyre, the alicorn prince of angst and self-pity. Your coat is black, your eyes are red, and your mane, tail and wings are black-and-red. Your cutie mark is a skull crying tears of flame.

Nopony likes you.

I wish both Applejack and Trixie were madly in love with my, yet somehow not jealous of each other.


Sungazer said:
Granted.

And your ability to teleport gives you the opportunity to see things nobody else would see due to the inability to prepare for your arrival.

You pop in on your mare having a moment of weakness with another stallion.

You never have a healthy relationship again.

(That one was REALLY hard to twist.)

I wish I was an Alicorn! :'D

Granted.

You are now an Alicorn. You have been tasked with protecting your subjects' bodily functions, and have the power to enter their colons.

I wish I had a mare hanging off each arm.


Tradewind said:
Granted.

You are now an Alicorn. You have been tasked with protecting your subjects' bodily functions, and have the power to enter their colons.

I wish I had a mare hanging off each arm.

Granted, your hooves are now sentient mare heads.

Werewolf said:
Granted! You are now Dark Fyre, the alicorn prince of angst and self-pity. Your coat is black, your eyes are red, and your mane, tail and wings are black-and-red. Your cutie mark is a skull crying tears of flame.

Nopony likes you.

I wish both Applejack and Trixie were madly in love with my, yet somehow not jealous of each other.

Congrats, they're now in love with you. Such a shame that they both caught a terminal disease and will die in a month.

I wish I could read other people's thoughts at will.

Shansai
Contributor
5 years ago
anthro blush brown_body brown_eyes clothing equine female high_res multi-colored_hair my_little_pony original_character panties rainbowscreen shansai simple_background socks solo to_keep underwear white_body zebra rating:Questionable score:8 user:Shansai

Scootaloo said:
Granted, your hooves are now sentient mare heads.

Congrats, they're now in love with you. Such a shame that they both caught a terminal disease and will die in a month.

I wish I could read other people's thoughts at will.

Granted

You can read other's thoughts, when they think about boring stuff and things such as "Did I turn the oven off before I left?"

I wish I had fun toys

Werewolf
Contributor
5 years ago
apple applejack bat_wings blonde_hair earth_pony equine fang female filly foal generation_4 green_eyes high_res messy_hair norang94 orange_body pony sitting solo transparent_background vampire wings young rating:Safe score:1 user:Werewolf

Scootaloo said:
Granted, your hooves are now sentient mare heads.

Congrats, they're now in love with you. Such a shame that they both caught a terminal disease and will die in a month.

That's adding an unrelated extra complication. You're supposed to grant the letter of the wish while ruining the spirit of it, using the wish itself.

Shansai said:
Granted

You can read other's thoughts, when they think about boring stuff and things such as "Did I turn the oven off before I left?"

I wish I had fun toys

Granted, you have toys made my the Fun Toys Amalgamated Partnership Ltd. They are terrible and fall apart when you try to use them, but thy are technically "Fun Toys."

I wish all my bills were paid and I had money in the bank.


Werewolf said:
I wish all my bills were paid and I had money in the bank.

Granted, but all the money was stolen, so you're now a wanted criminal.

I wish my wish couldn't be corrupted!


Werewolf said:
I wish all my bills were paid and I had money in the bank.

Granted, you no longer have any debts related to any form of bird bill (or platypi) and all your money is buried at a random location in the bank of an undisclosed river.

I wish to have the powers of a god.


Princess_Luna said:
I wish my wish couldn't be corrupted!

Granted, but since the only thing the wish describes is that it can't be corrupted, it is the most singularly pointless wish ever. You get nothing.

I wish for the Nile.


internetcatchphrase said:
Granted, but since the only thing the wish describes is that it can't be corrupted, it is the most singularly pointless wish ever. You get nothing.

I wish for the Nile.

Granted. You now have the nile but your house is right in the middle and it ends up flooding your house.

I wish I looked like Bruce Lee.


Scootaloo said:
I wish I looked like Bruce Lee.

Granted. Bruce Lee is dead, so you look like a skeleton with scraps of decayed flesh hanging from it.

I wish I was a country-music star.

Werewolf
Contributor
5 years ago
apple applejack bat_wings blonde_hair earth_pony equine fang female filly foal generation_4 green_eyes high_res messy_hair norang94 orange_body pony sitting solo transparent_background vampire wings young rating:Safe score:1 user:Werewolf

internetcatchphrase said:
Granted. Bruce Lee is dead, so you look like a skeleton with scraps of decayed flesh hanging from it.

I wish I was a country-music star.

Granted. You are now Hank Williams. You have been dead for 60 years.

I wish could speak any and all languages fluently.

Shansai
Contributor
5 years ago
anthro blush brown_body brown_eyes clothing equine female high_res multi-colored_hair my_little_pony original_character panties rainbowscreen shansai simple_background socks solo to_keep underwear white_body zebra rating:Questionable score:8 user:Shansai

Werewolf said:
Granted. You are now Hank Williams. You have been dead for 60 years.

I wish could speak any and all languages fluently.

Granted, you can speak all languages fluently, sadly there is no one around to talk with.

I wish for a ball of some sort

Werewolf
Contributor
5 years ago
apple applejack bat_wings blonde_hair earth_pony equine fang female filly foal generation_4 green_eyes high_res messy_hair norang94 orange_body pony sitting solo transparent_background vampire wings young rating:Safe score:1 user:Werewolf

Shansai said:
Granted, you can speak all languages fluently, sadly there is no one around to talk with.

I wish for a ball of some sort

Granted. Opalescence hacks up a hairball for you.

I wish for the ability to make people sneeze by squinting at them.


Werewolf said:
Granted. Opalescence hacks up a hairball for you.

I wish for the ability to make people sneeze by squinting at them.

Granted. However you need to squint at them for 10-15 minutes before they sneeze.

I wish I sounded like Tara Strong.


Scootaloo said:
I wish I sounded like Tara Strong.

Granted. You will now be swarmed by obsessive bronies demanding you do unpaid voice work for their horrible Mary-Sue-filled, badly-animated fan episodes.

I wish I had a holy hand grenade.


internetcatchphrase said:
Granted. You will now be swarmed by obsessive bronies demanding you do unpaid voice work for their horrible Mary-Sue-filled, badly-animated fan episodes.

I wish I had a holy hand grenade.

Granted. Better watch out, the pin is already pulled.

I wish for the power to mind control any human.

Werewolf
Contributor
5 years ago
apple applejack bat_wings blonde_hair earth_pony equine fang female filly foal generation_4 green_eyes high_res messy_hair norang94 orange_body pony sitting solo transparent_background vampire wings young rating:Safe score:1 user:Werewolf

internetcatchphrase said:
Granted. You will now be swarmed by obsessive bronies demanding you do unpaid voice work for their horrible Mary-Sue-filled, badly-animated fan episodes.

I wish I had a holy hand grenade.

Granted! A holy hand grenade appears before you.

The pin does not.

I wish for the most delicious cupcake ever.

Werewolf
Contributor
5 years ago
apple applejack bat_wings blonde_hair earth_pony equine fang female filly foal generation_4 green_eyes high_res messy_hair norang94 orange_body pony sitting solo transparent_background vampire wings young rating:Safe score:1 user:Werewolf

Scootaloo said:
Granted. Better watch out, the pin is already pulled.

I wish for the power to mind control any human.

Granted: You can mind-control any human via a complicated ritual that requires fifteen hours of preparation, the hair of a three-toed sloth, and costs $7,000. It allows you total control over your subject for approximately 73 seconds, at a range of 7 feet.

I wish for the most delicious cupcake ever.

Petrock
Contributor
5 years ago

Werewolf said:
Granted: You can mind-control any human via a complicated ritual that requires fifteen hours of preparation, the hair of a three-toed sloth, and costs $7,000. It allows you total control over your subject for approximately 73 seconds, at a range of 7 feet.

I wish for the most delicious cupcake ever.

Granted: You got one of Spike's favorite cupcakes, the Baked Bads! He says they're delicious!

I wish I wish I had a fish, a fish I wish I had.
For if I had a tasty fish, then I would be so glad.


Werewolf said:
I wish for the most delicious cupcake ever.

Granted! It is so delicious that after eating it, all other cupcakes will taste like sawdust mixed with battery acid and dog poo by comparison, so that you will spend the rest of your life in cupcake-less misery.

I wish for the power to turn lead into gold.


Petrock said:
Granted: You got one of Spike's favorite cupcakes, the Baked Bads! He says they're delicious!

I wish I wish I had a fish, a fish I wish I had.
For if I had a tasty fish, then I would be so glad.

Granted. It's inedible though.

I wish for the moves to dance.


Scootaloo said:
Granted. It's inedible though.

I wish for the moves to dance.

Granted, you're now the inventor of the macarena.

I wish that I could kill with a look

Werewolf
Contributor
5 years ago
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Tradewind said:
Granted, you're now the inventor of the macarena.

I wish that I could kill with a look

Granted, you can now kill the Brazillian green-spotted poison dart frog (which is endangered) with a look.

I wish for the ability to summon skeletons who would do my bidding.


Seventy-Three croaks your auction house bidding-skeleton, quoting your bidder's number at the last moment and sniping the item for half its cost. The rest of the auction goers are sufficiently creeped out by their competition that, while you're able to buy stuff cheaply for a while, eventually the lack of buyers drive the auction houses into ruin. Your bidding skeletons are too slow and shamble to circticiously to be useful at any other task, really.

I wish I could fly in the conventional manner while casting magic spells.


AKmalamute said:
I wish I could fly in the conventional manner while casting magic spells.

Granted! *hands you a plane ticket*

But doing magic in front of the muggles is inadvisable.

I wish magic markers made no noise when used.


internetcatchphrase said:
Granted! *hands you a plane ticket*

But doing magic in front of the muggles is inadvisable.

I wish magic markers made no noise when used.

Granted. Here are your magic markers. They don't make noise but they emit noxious fumes that no gas mask can protect you from.

I wish I had the power to shoot graphs from my finger tips.