News - Jan 16, 2019 (2 months ago)

Thank you for coming.

It's been a long time coming now, but it's time for Twenty Percent Cooler to close down. We've had a good run and had a great time in our heyday, but the sun has set on our little website and now it's time to go. You have about a week to record, save, and archive what you would like before everything goes dark, so please make the best of this time.

Thank you for all the memories and contributions to our community in these last 8 years. We had a great time.

~ Sincerely, Princess Luna
Lead Administrator for TwentyPercentCooler.net

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Werewolf
Contributor
5 years ago
apple applejack bat_wings blonde_hair earth_pony equine fang female filly foal generation_4 green_eyes high_res messy_hair norang94 orange_body pony sitting solo transparent_background vampire wings young rating:Safe score:1 user:Werewolf

AKmalamute said:
Seventy-Three croaks your auction house bidding-skeleton, quoting your bidder's number at the last moment and sniping the item for half its cost. The rest of the auction goers are sufficiently creeped out by their competition that, while you're able to buy stuff cheaply for a while, eventually the lack of buyers drive the auction houses into ruin. Your bidding skeletons are too slow and shamble to circticiously to be useful at any other task, really.

That's hilarious.

Scootaloo said:
Granted. Here are your magic markers. They don't make noise but they emit noxious fumes that no gas mask can protect you from.

I wish I had the power to shoot graphs from my finger tips.

Granted! Your fingertips now contain tiny guns which can only harm graphs.

I wish for the ability to mentally access the internet whenever I want, and to shut off said ability at will.


Werewolf said:
That's hilarious.

Granted! Your fingertips now contain tiny guns which can only harm graphs.

I wish for the ability to mentally access the internet whenever I want, and to shut off said ability at will.

Granted.

You are now the braincenter of the Internet and are physically hooked up to the world wide web at all times as a processor.

But you don't have to be surfing yourself if you don't want to.

I wish for infinite ammo.


Sungazer said:
I wish for infinite ammo.

Granted! As infinite ammo would be infinitely heavy, it promptly collapses into an infinitely large black hole that replaces the universe.

I wish for a random solid object smaller than a loaf of bread and lighter than twenty pounds. And it has to be pink.

Werewolf
Contributor
5 years ago
apple applejack bat_wings blonde_hair earth_pony equine fang female filly foal generation_4 green_eyes high_res messy_hair norang94 orange_body pony sitting solo transparent_background vampire wings young rating:Safe score:1 user:Werewolf

internetcatchphrase said:
Granted! As infinite ammo would be infinitely heavy, it promptly collapses into an infinitely large black hole that replaces the universe.

I wish for a random solid object smaller than a loaf of bread and lighter than twenty pounds. And it has to be pink.

Granted! You have a tiny pink bead, which soon hatches. It proves to be the egg of the Bolivian ear-wasp, so named because it paralyzes small spiders and seals them up inside your ear when you are sleeping. It is immune to all known insecticides, and is too fast to swat.

I wish for the charisma of Johnny Depp while still retaining all my abilities and characteristics.

Nether
Contributor
5 years ago
aymint blue_body blush clothing equine female generation_4 multi-colored_hair pegasus pony purple_eyes rainbow_dash rainbow_hair solo wings rating:Safe score:7 user:Shansai

Werewolf said:
Granted! You have a tiny pink bead, which soon hatches. It proves to be the egg of the Bolivian ear-wasp, so named because it paralyzes small spiders and seals them up inside your ear when you are sleeping. It is immune to all known insecticides, and is too fast to swat.

I wish for the charisma of Johnny Depp while still retaining all my abilities and characteristics.

Right then, there you go. However, the rest of the populationg gained a proportinal similair increase in their charm as well, making you blend back in the masses again.

I wish I had free carfuel for the rest of my days.


Nether said:
Right then, there you go. However, the rest of the populationg gained a proportinal similair increase in their charm as well, making you blend back in the masses again.

I wish I had free carfuel for the rest of my days.

Granted, any liquid you touch now instantly turns into Diesel, leading to your premature death via repeated constant ingestion of Diesel.

Nether
Contributor
5 years ago
aymint blue_body blush clothing equine female generation_4 multi-colored_hair pegasus pony purple_eyes rainbow_dash rainbow_hair solo wings rating:Safe score:7 user:Shansai

Tradewind said:
Granted, any liquid you touch now instantly turns into Diesel, leading to your premature death via repeated constant ingestion of Diesel.

Diesel sucks cause my car doesnt run on it and you didnt make a wish. so you wish for nothing, and thats what you will have from now on :3


Nether said:
Diesel sucks cause my car doesnt run on it and you didnt make a wish. so you wish for nothing, and thats what you will have from now on :3

Same to ya.

I wish for Princess Twilight to break through to this universe and meet Tara Strong.


AKmalamute said:
Same to ya.

I wish for Princess Twilight to break through to this universe and meet Tara Strong.

Wish granted, except upon meeting one another a paradox is created and the world implodes to correct it.

I wish people would stop bickering D:


Princess_Luna said:
I wish people would stop bickering D:

Granted. People can no longer bicker. They skip from calm conversation straight to an all-out screamfest.

I wish for a Klondike Bar.


internetcatchphrase said:
Granted. People can no longer bicker. They skip from calm conversation straight to an all-out screamfest.

I wish for a Klondike Bar.

Granted.

You get hit in the face by a klondike bar.

I want the Infinite Blade Works reality marble.

[/Geek]


Sungazer said:
Granted.

You get hit in the face by a klondike bar.

I want the Infinite Blade Works reality marble.

[/Geek]

Granted. Too bad that it's too heavy for you to hold.

I wish for a bag of holding.


Scootaloo said:
Granted. Too bad that it's too heavy for you to hold.

I wish for a bag of holding.

Granted. It can hold one item and it's too large to take out of the bag.

I wish for a fast internet connection that can be accessed anywhere for free.

Shansai
Contributor
5 years ago
anthro blush brown_body brown_eyes clothing equine female high_res multi-colored_hair my_little_pony original_character panties rainbowscreen shansai simple_background socks solo to_keep underwear white_body zebra rating:Questionable score:8 user:Shansai

Princess_Luna said:
Granted. It can hold one item and it's too large to take out of the bag.

I wish for a fast internet connection that can be accessed anywhere for free.

Granted. Only the devices you can access it with are all too slow for you to really have any use for the fast internet connection

I wish for a private jet with crew and fuel included


Shansai said:
Granted. Only the devices you can access it with are all too slow for you to really have any use for the fast internet connection

I wish for a private jet with crew and fuel included

Granted. You now have a jet stone that only you and your crew can access and clean.

I wish for more musical talent.


Scootaloo said:
I wish for more musical talent.

Granted. Of course, talent isn't the same as fame, wealth, popularity, charisma, financial savvy, or people skills.

I wish I was six inches taller.


internetcatchphrase said:
I wish I was six inches taller.

Lean forward. Excellent. You now walk digitigrade, like an anthro furrae. Of course, this means your shoes don't even slightly fit ... and walking around barefoot keeps getting you kicked out of convenience stores.

I wish I could spend an evening studying magic with Twilight Sparkle.


AKmalamute said:
Lean forward. Excellent. You now walk digitigrade, like an anthro furrae. Of course, this means your shoes don't even slightly fit ... and walking around barefoot keeps getting you kicked out of convenience stores.

I wish I could spend an evening studying magic with Twilight Sparkle.

Granted, you are now that guy who claims to be married to Twilight.

I wish I could lose weight.

Nether
Contributor
5 years ago
aymint blue_body blush clothing equine female generation_4 multi-colored_hair pegasus pony purple_eyes rainbow_dash rainbow_hair solo wings rating:Safe score:7 user:Shansai

Tradewind said:
Granted, you are now that guy who claims to be married to Twilight.

I wish I could lose weight.

Granted, a dingo ate your leg.

I wish the sun would shine all day long today.


Nether said:
Granted, a dingo ate your leg.

I wish the sun would shine all day long today.

You are now living in the North Pole during high summer.

I wish to eat a cake.

Nether
Contributor
5 years ago
aymint blue_body blush clothing equine female generation_4 multi-colored_hair pegasus pony purple_eyes rainbow_dash rainbow_hair solo wings rating:Safe score:7 user:Shansai

Tradewind said:
You are now living in the North Pole during high summer.

I wish to eat a cake.

Here you go, enjoy diabetus.

I wish Billy Mays was still alive.


Nether said:
Here you go, enjoy diabetus.

I wish Billy Mays was still alive.

He is, and he spends 24 hours in your bedroom, with a loudspeaker.

Nether
Contributor
5 years ago
aymint blue_body blush clothing equine female generation_4 multi-colored_hair pegasus pony purple_eyes rainbow_dash rainbow_hair solo wings rating:Safe score:7 user:Shansai

Tradewind said:
He is, and he spends 24 hours in your bedroom, with a loudspeaker.

Fine by me, I sleep on my couch in the summer anyway~

And no wish, so you get a stamp on your head.

*stamps*

Think I am gonna wish for the power to slap people through the internet.


Nether said:
Fine by me, I sleep on my couch in the summer anyway~

And no wish, so you get a stamp on your head.

*stamps*

Think I am gonna wish for the power to slap people through the internet.

Granted, you can now slap people over the internet. But cutting off your own hands and mailing it to them.


Tradewind said:
Granted, you can now slap people over the internet. But cutting off your own hands and mailing it to them.

Just send it with an SASE and they'll likely send you your hands back.

I wish to be a were-pony, human (hands!) when I want, and a unicorn (magic!) when I want that.


AKmalamute said:
Just send it with an SASE and they'll likely send you your hands back.

I wish to be a were-pony, human (hands!) when I want, and a unicorn (magic!) when I want that.

GRANTED.

But now Lyra is Yandere for you (and your hands) and Bonbon wants to kill you for taking Lyra's attention away from her.

I wish Littlepip got to live in the Equestria before the bombs fell.


Sungazer said:
I wish Littlepip got to live in the Equestria before the bombs fell.

No problem ... dragonfire is magic, right? Just like a letter, she gets teleported ... to a pre-war Celestia (who is more than a little confused by the arrival)

Littlepip meets the EoH bearers, gains Rarity's affection, and lives to a ripe old age. Then the war happened. Anyway.

Despite all her ramblings about crazy steel caves and "mega" spells cast by their allies the zebras. With no Wasteland Savior the Enclave has successfully severed all ties to the ground and within a generation of the loss of the Watcher, all the earth-bound ponies have completely forgotten about the pegasus tribe, having never seen one before. THE END

I wish I could spend an evening chatting with the heroes of the Wastes ... Littlepip. Blackjack, Ocher Bullion ... (and not get anybody killed for it. To quote Han Solo, "That's the real trick isn't it?")

Nether
Contributor
5 years ago
aymint blue_body blush clothing equine female generation_4 multi-colored_hair pegasus pony purple_eyes rainbow_dash rainbow_hair solo wings rating:Safe score:7 user:Shansai

AKmalamute said:

I wish I could spend an evening chatting with the heroes of the Wastes ... Littlepip. Blackjack, Ocher Bullion ... (and not get anybody killed for it. To quote Han Solo, "That's the real trick isn't it?")

Allright... you get to to visit them in post war Equestria... except... they fnd you weird... a bi pedal creature that talks? something's up... being hardened by the wastes, they leave you to fend for yourself, as the mutant you appear to be should be able to... left all alone... in the wastes... with no means to defend yourself.
Good luck.

I wish I could slap people through the internet.


Nether said:
Allright... you get to to visit them in post war Equestria... except... they fnd you weird... a bi pedal creature that talks? something's up... being hardened by the wastes, they leave you to fend for yourself, as the mutant you appear to be should be able to... left all alone... in the wastes... with no means to defend yourself.
Good luck.

I wish I could slap people through the internet.

Wish granted, of course, they can slap you back.

I wish I could go back to bed and get another couple hour's sleep...


Velvet_Star said:
I wish I could go back to bed and get another couple hour's sleep...

Ahh, wish granted... only to be awakened by my daughter and her friends coming over to play...

I sometimes wish children were not so loud when having fun...