News - Jan 16, 2019 (2 months ago)

Thank you for coming.

It's been a long time coming now, but it's time for Twenty Percent Cooler to close down. We've had a good run and had a great time in our heyday, but the sun has set on our little website and now it's time to go. You have about a week to record, save, and archive what you would like before everything goes dark, so please make the best of this time.

Thank you for all the memories and contributions to our community in these last 8 years. We had a great time.

~ Sincerely, Princess Luna
Lead Administrator for TwentyPercentCooler.net

X

internetcatchphrase said:
Granted. He wears a condom when he rides you on the poop deck.

I wish for a grassy lawn that looks nice but never needs mowing.

Granted.

Every morning at exactly 6:00am, your lawn literally cuts itself, releasing a haunting, shrill screaming noise as the blades fall apart into a nice little pile in the center, bleeding something that initially looks horrifyingly red but then turns into a pleasant, clear gloss.

You're not sure who the hell signs a compact with Satan for a nice lawn, but you're pretty sure it was one of your home's previous owners.

I wish for little Candlelight to live a happy life.

Werewolf
Contributor
5 years ago
apple applejack bat_wings blonde_hair earth_pony equine fang female filly foal generation_4 green_eyes high_res messy_hair norang94 orange_body pony sitting solo transparent_background vampire wings young rating:Safe score:1 user:Werewolf

Sungazer said:
I wish for little Candlelight to live a happy life.

Granted. Little Candelight is as happy and joyful as a foal can be, right up until the point when a piano drops out of the sky and crushes her flat. She never saw it coming, felt no pain, and died happy. She was nine.

I wish for an autographed picture from each of the four canon alicorns.


Werewolf said:
I wish for an autographed picture from each of the four canon alicorns.

A jaundiced mail pony with mismatched red eyes blearily delivers a package with four glossy photos, each signed by the alicorn depicted within. These pictures are animated, sort of like in the Harry Potter universe. Except they just pound on the edge of the paper, silently mouthing versions of "release me" or, in Twilight's case something closer to "Get me the **** out of here! I'm serious I need out now!" Although your lip reading skills are having troubles following the whole sequence.

The princesses in question can't be located for comment on their photo.

I wish to visit Trottingham.


AKmalamute said:
I wish to visit Trottingham.

you get hit by a rolling booze barrel and your leg is crushed. you were send off to a specialized hospital. welcome to trottingham hospital

i wish i had a portabe solar panel to charge my phone


Shadow_Forge said:
you get hit by a rolling booze barrel and your leg is crushed. you were send off to a specialized hospital. welcome to trottingham hospital

i wish i had a portabe solar panel to charge my phone

You have your portable solar panel, but with all 4 princesses unavailable thanks to Werewolf's wish, it's utterly useless.

I wish I everyone on 20PC would suddenly become their main OCs and be transported to Equestria, with full usage of their bodies, abilities and the equestrian languages.


Velvet_Star said:
I wish I everyone on 20PC would suddenly become their main OCs and be transported to Equestria, with full usage of their bodies, abilities and the equestrian languages.

Everypony who has an account, banned, forgotten, or active, is now in Equestria. There are enough ponies and griffons and even a full sized dragon in extensive jewelery that the spell creates a separate town that the welcome sign names as Oh Sea Villa, despite not actually being within sight of any sea.

There are problems.

Those who have changed their name over the history of 20PC look approximately like Discord, in that parts of them are shaped from each of their times as a particular name. Also, there appear to be a bunch of hazy outlines that correlate to partially corporeal forms shaped about like hippogryphs, that after some discussion seem to belong to users who never finalized or chose an OC.

Also it's crowded. We've got a whole village, complete with houses for all the corporeal forms except for that dragon towering over us, but ... we're all here, and as you might have picked up over your time on the forum, there are some bad feelings. Fights are breaking out, ponies are picking sides, fights are expanding.

Also no one can find a counterspell. You're all stuck, separated from your families (which I understand for some is an improvement, but for others it's a source of great despair).

As one of the hippogryphs-on-permanent-cloak I'd like have an actual body. A unicorn who knows arcane-wings would be kinda nice.


AKmalamute said:
A unicorn who knows arcane-wings would be kinda nice.

assuming that was the wish...

you find a unicorn who knows the spell, but he won't help you on account of him being dead for 200 years.

I wish I owned a suit of wearable power armor


Silver_Rush said:
assuming that was the wish...

you find a unicorn who knows the spell, but he won't help you on account of him being dead for 200 years.

I wish I owned a suit of wearable power armor

You know own the a fantastic Prototype Power Armor.

Made proudly in the USA by Hammer Industries

I wish for infinite lives


Tradewind said:
You know own the a fantastic Prototype Power Armor.

Made proudly in the USA by Hammer Industries

I wish for infinite lives

Granted, but without eternal youth and eternal regeneration, you grow old easily, older then anyone has ever been old, any injury that would kill you never heals, so you live in eternal agony from wounds that take your life over... and over again.. you grow bitter, shut yourself out, and spend most of eternity alone

I wish shansai was here .-.


Pinkie_Pie said:
I wish shansai was here .-.

There is now a talking vegetarian zebra in your apartment. ...what? That's the user's screen name. Shansai is a zebra that, at least visually, seems to flip back and forth between mare and stallion on a roughly daily basis. Maybe you're just not looking close enough. Maybe you don't want to, either.

I wish Honda would bring back the CRX-HF


AKmalamute said:
There is now a talking vegetarian zebra in your apartment. ...what? That's the user's screen name. Shansai is a zebra that, at least visually, seems to flip back and forth between mare and stallion on a roughly daily basis. Maybe you're just not looking close enough. Maybe you don't want to, either.

I wish Honda would bring back the CRX-HF

Done, you now have to drive a car from the 80s, a Honda no less, that has over a million miles on the clock, and no spare parts to be found.

I wish for... purple.

Werewolf
Contributor
5 years ago
apple applejack bat_wings blonde_hair earth_pony equine fang female filly foal generation_4 green_eyes high_res messy_hair norang94 orange_body pony sitting solo transparent_background vampire wings young rating:Safe score:1 user:Werewolf

Tradewind said:
Done, you now have to drive a car from the 80s, a Honda no less, that has over a million miles on the clock, and no spare parts to be found.

I wish for... purple.

Granted. You are transformed into a line of code on twentypercentcooler; specifically, a line of code that governs the default color scheme.

I wish I had all the time I wanted to do the things I want to do, without losing time from the things I need to do.


Werewolf said:
I wish I had all the time I wanted to do the things I want to do, without losing time from the things I need to do.

Granted. You no longer need to sleep, and your food requirements have dwindled to about 350 calories, plus the normal amount of water.

At first everything is fine, but you also stopped aging. After a few years people notice. You don't think to keep it much of a secret. You're just ... super-healthy, right?

The goverment notices. About year five, just as you've made your first million dollars in part because you don't buy anything, you are seized by G-men who start sticking probes both sharp and dull, into every part of you a probe might conceivably be attached. They refuse to let you go until they've both copied your new nature, and properly weaponized it. This gives you a lot of years of free time to contemplate where you went wrong. Also, how to knit. The government subsidizes your around the clock "care" by selling the hats and scarves you make, labelling them as being from aztec's descendants, newly moved to northern Mexico.

I wish to be a magic-wielding griffon.


AKmalamute said:
I wish to be a magic-wielding griffon.

granted.
your body writhes as the feathers erupt from your pores; your shoulder blades increase in size before bursting through your skin to form full wings. Your mouth juts out sharply, hardening before your eyes as you can feel your teeth fuse together. Your hands turn crooked, and talons breach through your fingertips while fur spreads across your rapidly changing thighs. A long lion tail juts from your spine as your legs snap and your bones change shape to fit their new leonine form.

oh but you're also 3 inches tall and magic spells are sold separately.

I wish for two gold coins.


Silver_Rush said:
granted.
your body writhes as the feathers erupt from your pores; your shoulder blades increase in size before bursting through your skin to form full wings. Your mouth juts out sharply, hardening before your eyes as you can feel your teeth fuse together. Your hands turn crooked, and talons breach through your fingertips while fur spreads across your rapidly changing thighs. A long lion tail juts from your spine as your legs snap and your bones change shape to fit their new leonine form.

oh but you're also 3 inches tall and magic spells are sold separately.

I wish for two gold coins.

granted, and they are placed on your eyes after you die so you can pay the boatman of the River Styx.

I wish I could draw and color my art better.


Velvet_Star said:
I wish I could draw and color my art better.

granted you have been given the skill level of atryl. allthough whenever you create another masterpice and finish your drawing program crashes and loozes all data of the artwork ((like that didnt happen often enouth allready))


Shadow_Forge said:
granted you have been given the skill level of atryl. allthough whenever you create another masterpice and finish your drawing program crashes and loozes all data of the artwork ((like that didnt happen often enouth allready))

Because you wished for nothing, everything in your universe vanishes, leaving you floating in an empty void, all alone.

I wish for a Mr. Big candy bar.


Velvet_Star said:
I wish for a Mr. Big candy bar.

Angel-chicken delivers you a cadbury Mr. Big bar. It is from easter season. Three years ago. No bacteria can abide chocolate, so it's safe to eat, but is hard as a rock.

I wish for a quart-jar full of homemade rock candy.

Werewolf
Contributor
5 years ago
apple applejack bat_wings blonde_hair earth_pony equine fang female filly foal generation_4 green_eyes high_res messy_hair norang94 orange_body pony sitting solo transparent_background vampire wings young rating:Safe score:1 user:Werewolf

AKmalamute said:
Angel-chicken delivers you a cadbury Mr. Big bar. It is from easter season. Three years ago. No bacteria can abide chocolate, so it's safe to eat, but is hard as a rock.

I wish for a quart-jar full of homemade rock candy.

Granted: You receive a quart jar filled with Ma Og's Homemade Rock Candy. The Ogs are trolls, and their rock candy is made from actual rock. Mmm, schisty!

I wish for a pleasing pony pen pal.

Nether
Contributor
5 years ago
aymint blue_body blush clothing equine female generation_4 multi-colored_hair pegasus pony purple_eyes rainbow_dash rainbow_hair solo wings rating:Safe score:7 user:Shansai

Werewolf said:
Granted: You receive a quart jar filled with Ma Og's Homemade Rock Candy. The Ogs are trolls, and their rock candy is made from actual rock. Mmm, schisty!

I wish for a pleasing pony pen pal.

Granted... You get a pony pen pal... he just happens to do some hard time and he wants you for a conjugal visit, where you will probably have to please him... wether you like it or not. I wouldnt. Writing a interpetation of Iron Man with a hardcore criminal seems like a horrible way to spend your time.

I wish that I had more wishes.

Werewolf
Contributor
5 years ago
apple applejack bat_wings blonde_hair earth_pony equine fang female filly foal generation_4 green_eyes high_res messy_hair norang94 orange_body pony sitting solo transparent_background vampire wings young rating:Safe score:1 user:Werewolf

Nether said:
Granted... You get a pony pen pal... he just happens to do some hard time and he wants you for a conjugal visit, where you will probably have to please him... wether you like it or not. I wouldnt. Writing a interpetation of Iron Man with a hardcore criminal seems like a horrible way to spend your time.

I wish that I had more wishes.

Granted! Immediately upon voicing this wish, you are transported back in time exactly two seconds, whereupon you wish for more wishes, whereupon you are transported back in time exactly two seconds, whereupon you wish for more wishes, whereupon you are transported back in time exactly two seconds, whereupon you wish for more wishes, whereupon you are transported back in time exactly two seconds, whereupon you wish for more wishes . . .

Enjoy your time loop.

I wish I could cast mage hand at will.


Werewolf said:
Granted! Immediately upon voicing this wish, you are transported back in time exactly two seconds, whereupon you wish for more wishes, whereupon you are transported back in time exactly two seconds, whereupon you wish for more wishes, whereupon you are transported back in time exactly two seconds, whereupon you wish for more wishes, whereupon you are transported back in time exactly two seconds, whereupon you wish for more wishes . . .

Enjoy your time loop.

I wish I could cast mage hand at will.

Granted, but the spell summons a hand like from the movie 'Idle Hands'.

I wish that the next wish made turns out exactly as the wisher wishes, and not twisted.


Velvet_Star said:
Granted, but the spell summons a hand like from the movie 'Idle Hands'.

I wish that the next wish made turns out exactly as the wisher wishes, and not twisted.

Granted.

And you get to watch that happiness flourish without taking part in it.

And by the way, you are now a magical girl and have to fight witches.

Who turn out to just be other magical girls who had an emotional breakdown and lost control of their power and sanity.

I wish for the staying power and imagination to finish writing my Celestia-damn fanfics.

Werewolf
Contributor
5 years ago
apple applejack bat_wings blonde_hair earth_pony equine fang female filly foal generation_4 green_eyes high_res messy_hair norang94 orange_body pony sitting solo transparent_background vampire wings young rating:Safe score:1 user:Werewolf

Sungazer said:
Granted.

And you get to watch that happiness flourish without taking part in it.

And by the way, you are now a magical girl and have to fight witches.

Who turn out to just be other magical girls who had an emotional breakdown and lost control of their power and sanity.

I wish for the staying power and imagination to finish writing my Celestia-damn fanfics.

Per Velvet's wish, your staying power is the envy of all the stallions, and your imagination puts Pinkie's to shame. You can finish all your fanfics that are damned by Celestia, or in which Celestia is damned.

That was what you wanted, right?

I wish that the next wisher's wish is reversed.


Werewolf said:
Per Velvet's wish, your staying power is the envy of all the stallions, and your imagination puts Pinkie's to shame. You can finish all your fanfics that are damned by Celestia, or in which Celestia is damned.

That was what you wanted, right?

I wish that the next wisher's wish is reversed.

Well I'm writing an FO:E sidefic, so...

... Actually, yes.

Wish granted.

The next wish will be granted for the granter, not the wisher.

Mwahahaha.

I wish for magical, sentient, talking ponies to be real.


Sungazer said:
I wish for magical, sentient, talking ponies to be real.

Who's on first? Is this happening because I'm making it, or you're wishing it? anyway ...

Equestria and Earth are, in a metaphysical sense, colliding. Our pollution is killing off their sensitive wildlife, cascading into massive crop failures for which they simply aren't prepared.

The finest of minds across the globe leap into action ... and they decide they can't save the ponies, cute though they are. Instead, they develop deponification, a process guaranteed to save their culture, history, and also their stomachs as they just can't emotionally abide the fact we are designed to digest meat.

There are tours to see the dying lands, and lucrative ponies point out the beauty, and how much they've already lost. But fear not, our weeds are already aggressively taking over, and as for the ponies themselves.

They'll have completely adapted, to the last one of them, within five years. At which point there will be no more ponies, no more quarray eels. No sentient rabbits. Just a lot more land, with very good mining prospects.

I wish to bring the ponies back after I killed them all off, just now.


AKmalamute said:
I wish to bring the ponies back after I killed them all off, just now.

congratualations you just caused the aponyclyps. all the deceased ponys come back to life and are out for revenge. lets get your zombie gear cus this is gonna be fun.

i wish me and my friends survive the apocalyps toghether


Shadow_Forge said:
congratualations you just caused the aponyclyps. all the deceased ponys come back to life and are out for revenge. lets get your zombie gear cus this is gonna be fun.

i wish me and my friends survive the apocalyps toghether

Wish granted! You did it!

Good luck forgetting all those innocent survivors you murdered for their supplies and ammunition. Some of them even tried to help you!

I wish for a sexy, sentient gun that won't betray me and is intelligent enough to realize why shooting off my genitals is a bad thing.